I’ve been thinking a lot about Aurora, about gun violence, about, “what does it all mean? Who are ‘people’ really and why are they made that way? And why such injustice?” not just in Aurora, but all over the world.
I don’t know. I don’t even know if I walked into a movie theater to never walk out if I’d be happy with the way that I’ve lived, though I’m not sure if more would be enough either.
I can’t help but think these thoughts now, even if they aren’t good for anyone- including myself.
I read about Colorado, about Toronto. I remember Columbine. I read about the daily gun violence in Chicago, I think about Somalia; think about all the guns all over the world, and I wonder, “is this it?”
It couldn’t possibly be, and I hope it isn’t, but what are we doing, and what have I’ve done?
I’ve declared that I’m saving money to travel to another country to help build an orphanage, I can say that “small changes are still good for the collective,” but all I know is that we’re born into what we become when we end, and I don’t know if it’s enough – though how can I define “enough” for the collective when I can’t even take it to the personal?
And why do I even feel the need to define anything: what meaning can be found in senseless, cruel violence?
It strikes my heart, and I know that I’m not alone in this; I know I’m not the only one who wonders about life when it is taken from people who decided to go see a movie, or go to the mall or even just to school.
I want answers to what cannot be answered, I want men to put down their guns and say, “if violence is a must then let it be a knife so that I can look into the face of my own destruction.”